On the Road to Recovery
We can't win if we want to lose.
Sometimes what we think we want is different from what we
really want. Who would want to lose? When success means
winning, who would ever choose to lose and thus reinforce
low self-esteem? We would, if losing is what makes us feel comfortable.
Due to many powerful family-of-orgin reasons, a great many
of us are programmed to lose. These motivations are subconcious,
of course. In spite of our best intentiond, that programming,
drumming in our heads~"You don't deserve much," "It can
never turn out better than it is," "Who do you think you
are even to try to succeed?"~is like a constant, mental
heartbeat. If the tracks lead to last place and the train is
on the tracks, where will the train go? There can be only one answer.
On the road to improved self-esteem, we often find ourselves
getting sidetracked and stalled. We are perplexed when our best
efforts meet with surprising resistance. The reason may well
be that we are battling deeply ingrained mental attitudes
rather than outside obstacles. Often what we need is reprogramming.
A good start would be daily affirmations like, "Iam just as
worthy of success as anybody else" or "There are no limits
to my personal growth."
Only when I can envision myself in the winner's circle can
winning become a real possibilty.
An excerpt from the book Believing In Myself~Daily
Meditions for Healing and Building Self-Esteem
Earnie Larsen & Carol Hegarty
Man is not a creature of circumstances.
Circumstances are the creatures of men.
Some of the tragedies and losses people encounter in life
are almost too terrible to think about. Many of them are
completely random and unpreventable. And along with calamity
comes the temptation to give up hope, to abandon the will to
continue, to fold up the tent of our self esteem and just
sink into the ground.
Yet there are those who would not give in or give up.
These are our examples of the strength of the human spirit.
To them, the tragic part of their lives was just that~a
part of their lives, one circumstance among many.
Dorthy, at sixty-three, went back to school and got her
college degree. This was shortly after her husband died.
She learned to drive so she could put her degree to use in
a professional job. Then she fell vicitim to a stroke~ a
blood clot in the brain. Surgery left her partially visually
impaired and subject to a debilitating numbness on her entire
right side. No longer able to drive or to keep her professional
job, she responded, "Just because my body no longer works
very well doesn't mean my mind quit." Now she is an author.
Some folks just won't quit. Instead, they create new circumstances.
Persistence is the homely virtue that underlies all others.